Shields Up

I’m pushing away those who pretend to care for me deeply.
Who turn blind eyes to rotten fruit so that they don’t feel ill at ease.
I’m pushing away those who stay silent when I speak vulnerably.
They never owed me consideration, but without it I would rather leave.

I’m pushing away those who deliberate when I’m in pain.
Who know the cut of darkness but can’t empathize with visible strain.
I’m pushing away those who say “well if it is the truth you speak”
I will not meet your gaze while you believe there is a liar in me.

My actions come as a shock to those who didn’t take the time
to reciprocate the quest to understand how you unwind.
For the hours passed in joy I now wallow in bereavement,
I remain soft, but decidedly unavailable for mistreatment.