People would look at me with pity, but their kindness was nowhere to be seen. I turned from empty platitudes, seeking shelter through a screen.
I stopped getting cat called at least, those same men now recoiled. I stopped hearing about how my beauty made me obnoxiously spoiled.

Feeling unworthy of the gaze of shinier human beings, I secluded myself in my room. Bedroom Baby Round 2. The woman who taught me to hate myself fawned over me and cooed: “Go out, make some friends! This isn't the end. I need you to leave, after all. So here, take your phone, reach out and then call. There's someone who'll tolerate you, now you're this small.”

So I did. I hunted for someone like me. Shy little nerds who play make believe.
I found them and though all my seams were still frayed, they welcomed me and a new party was made.

I'm on a quest to find everything that has ever felt good, figuring out why it felt good, and integrating it into my life

If I was a dragon I'd live in a cave on a lumpy pile of gold.
Every treasure is drenched in blood and it's hard to clean with such big, sharp claws.
Too long, doesn't fit.
Clearly, I must learn once again—to transform.

I temper my rage,
I breathe more than fire.
I learn to be gentle when facing desire.

I've gathered a hoard,
I've no need for much more.
There is plenty right here I can learn to adore.

If I was a dragon I'd turn a dank cave to a bright and cozy home.
I would sleep on a jumpable, soft, fuzzy bed.
I would sing so much more than I roar.