Are you real?

It was hard to get out of bed today.
The snow fell quite hard and I was shut inside by a blizzard.
It stopped though. That snow is piled high on leaves that struggle to hold up the weight of so much icy water. They keep their arms and legs firmly tucked in their verdant boat and cling for... dear life? Is their life dear?
Do you understand what I am saying?

It takes so much effort to translate the words that spill out easily.
They call it poetry, but it feels more like my mother tongue. Something I learned to speak before I knew what most people considered a mother tongue. Why was my mother tongue chosen by my father?

I'm so tired. I wonder if this type of script would be considered emotional encryption. Being cryptic kinda comes naturally, even when people probe to discover the meaning of what I am saying, they either give up or project whatever is going on in their imagination.
I suppose it's less effort.
There are a few gems in my life though. People who can parse my meaning.
I'm learning to be patient with them. They have a lot going on. Limited time. Chronic pain. And every time they communicate their limitations it gets a little easier to trust them.
Which is surprising. I assumed that ability had be broken like a snapped twig. But maybe the center of that twig was green, filled with icky sticky chlorophyll. So rather than snap clean in half, it bent and held together. Maybe I can build some kind of flexible, jelly resin to coat and protect that bendy core. Maybe I could fill it up with sparkles! I love glitter. It gets everywhere. It's fantastic.

I don't think you're real. Then again, I don't know. Maybe there is someone out there who will look at me and go "Yeah. You know what? I'm keeping this one." and then take the necessary steps until we can settle down in a cozy home with separate bedrooms and a shared closet.
I hope you're real.
Either way, my time is passing by and I not only survive, but thrive! I'm finally grateful to be alive. And I have the most beautiful cat in the world by my side.